“Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed” John 20:29

As a youth, St. Christopher was gifted in every way except faith. He was a big man physically, powerful, strong, goodhearted, mellow, and well-liked by all. He was also generous, using his physical strength to help others. His one fault was that he found it hard to believe in God. Fr. Rolheiser writes that for Christopher, the physical was what was real, and everything else seemed unreal. However, he yearned to believe in God and deeply respected those who did believe. One night, as the legend goes, during a storm, the ferryboat capsized, and Christopher dove into the dark waters to rescue a young child. Carrying that child to the shore, he looked into its face and saw there the face of Christ. After that, he believed, for he had seen the face of Christ. The very name, Christopher, contains the legend. Christopher means CHRIST-BEARER. The story contains, within its very simplicity, a profound lesson. It gives us a practical answer to one of the most challenging questions of all: What should we do when our faith is weak? What should be our reaction in the face of the fact that God often seems silent, distant, and dead? How do we move from believing only in the physical, from believing in the reality of only what we can see, feel, touch, taste, and smell, to believing in the existence of deeper, spiritual realities? Christopher’s answer? Live as honestly and respectfully as possible and use your gifts to help others. God will appear. Faith is not so much a question of feeling as of selfless service. St. Thomas, who we celebrate today, equally had doubts. Thomas doubted the resurrection of Jesus. It is noteworthy that Jesus offers no resistance or rebuke in the face of this remark. Instead, he takes Thomas at his word: “Come here and place your finger in the wounds of my hand and the wound in my side; see for yourself that I am real and not a ghost.” The stories of Christopher and Thomas teach us that God is neither angry nor threatened by honest agnosticism. Faith, by definition, never equates to certainty. Neither is it the sure feeling that God exists. Conversely, unbelief should not be confused with the absence of the felt assurance that God exists. There are, for every one of us, dark nights of the soul, silences of God, cold, lonely seasons, and bitter times when God’s appearances to us cannot be genuinely grasped or recognized. Whenever this happens, we must become Christ-bearers, Christophers, and honest agnostics who use their goodness and God-given strengths to help carry others across the burdensome rivers of life. God does not ask us to have a faith that is certain but a service that is sure.

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