We can learn a lesson from how Jesus dealt with those who betrayed him. Peter was an honest man with a childlike sincerity and a deep faith, and he, more than most others, grasped the deeper meaning of who Jesus was and what his teaching meant. Indeed, it was he who in response to Jesus’ question (Who do you say I am?) replied, “You are the Christ, the son of the Living God.” Yet minutes after that confession Jesus had to correct Peter’s false conception of what that meant and then rebuke him for trying to deflect him from his very mission. More seriously, it was Peter who, within hours of an arrogant boast that though all others would betray Jesus, he alone would remain faithful, betrayed Jesus three times, and this in Jesus’ most needy hour. What does Jesus do with Peter? He doesn’t ask for an explanation, doesn’t ask for an apology, doesn’t tell Peter that it is okay, doesn’t offer excuses for Peter, and doesn’t even tell Peter that he loves him. Instead, he asks Peter: “Do you love me?” Peter answers yes – and everything moves forward from there. Everything can move forward following a confession of love, not least an honest confession of love in the wake of a betrayal. What love asks of us when we are weak is an honest, non-rationalized, admission of our weakness along with a statement from the heart: “I love you!” Things can move forward from there. The past and our betrayal are not expunged nor excused, but in love, we can live beyond them. To expunge, excuse, or rationalize is to not live in the truth; it is unfair to the one betrayed since he or she bears the consequences and scars. Only love can move us beyond weakness and betrayal. We don’t move forward in a relationship by telling either God or someone we have hurt: “You have to understand! In that situation, what else was I to do too? I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just too weak to resist!” That’s neither helpful nor called for. Things move forward when we, without excuses, admit weakness and apologize for betrayal. Like Peter, when asked three times by Jesus: “Do you love me?” from our hearts, we need to say: “You know everything, you know that I love you.”[1]
[1] Excerpt from Fr. Ron Rolheiser’s reflection, “Moving Beyond Mistakes and Weaknesses,” September 2020.