Why do we fear drawing closer to God? It’s an all too common idea that if you welcome God into your life, you will have an easier walk through life; God will spare you from many of the illnesses and sufferings that afflict others. Fr. Rolheiser writes that many others feel that God means for us to suffer, that there’s an intrinsic connection between suffering and depth, and that the more painful something is, the better it is for you spiritually. There is, of course, some profound truth in this; spiritual depth is inextricably connected to suffering, as the Cross of Jesus reveals, and scripture does say that God chastises those who draw close to Him. But there are countless ways to misunderstand this. Jesus did say that we must take up our cross daily and follow him and that following him means precisely accepting a special suffering. Why? Pain will flow into us more deeply when we take God seriously, not because God wants it or because pain is somehow more blessed than joy. It’s none of these. Suffering and pain are not what God wants. To the extent that we take God seriously, they will flow more deeply into our lives because, in a deeper opening to God, we will stop falsely protecting ourselves against pain and become much more sensitive so that life can flow more freely and more deeply into us. We will experience deeper pain in our lives because, being more sensitive, we will be experiencing everything more deeply. As we draw closer to God by carrying our daily cross, we will experience life’s depth, both in the fantastic heights of joyful love and the challenging depth of pain’s darkness. This is what it means to walk the path that Jesus walked. It is the refiner’s fire of purification in preparation for our eternal destination that we can see in the lives of the saints as they draw closer to God.